Sunday, June 7, 2020

The first step.


Here's a common fight at my house:

Kid 1: He's annoying me!
Kid 2: (highly offended) "I am not ANNOYING!"
Me: Actually, you don't get to decide whether someone thinks you are annoying are not. If you want him to think you aren't annoying, listen to what is bothering him and change your actions. Otherwise, guess what, you're annoying.
Kid 2: (now annoyed with ME, stomps away stage left)
*end fight*

How often do we fail to realize our actions (or lack thereof) are affecting someone else? 

I've been learning this week that just considering myself "not racist" is not enough. 
My aversion to talking about race with my friends and trying so hard to "do the right thing" and "not see color" and "love everyone" and not ruffle any feathers has kept me from being a true ally and advocate for people of color.
And for that I am sorry.

In the words of the great wisdom teacher Daniel Tiger: "Saying I'm sorry is the first step, then how can I help?"
I mean, sure, I can tell you more about how I feel about it (I've got thoughts and opinions for DAYS, y'all)
but I'm pretty sure that nobody ever changed the world with their opinion.

And from what I've seen,
Jesus is not concerned with what I stand for as much as who I stand with.
Do I stand with the marginalized and the poor and the oppressed?
That's where Jesus stood.
And where he asked us to go.
"That they may all be one."
Here's the catch: I don't get to be in control here. I don't get to tell people they aren't in pain. When the marginalized show themselves, the gospel call is simply to respond in compassion and love.
It is time to take the first step.

In the words of one of my heroes:
So, I pray.
Lord, help me be a helper.
Send your grace into my heart so that I can make my circle of compassion big and wide.
Help me to listen and learn, and to respond in helpful ways.
To not make an idol of my opinion, but to put my love in action.
May your kingdom come
and your will be done
now and forever
amen.



We pray. And we do the work.



Resources:

Here are some books I have read that opened my heart and eyes to things I never would have understood without them:

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson

This book is unforgettable. I read it a few years ago and I have never been able to look at things the same way. I wanted to be a lawyer and go help these people when I closed the book, but even though that's probably not going to happen I want to share this book with everyone I know. Follow Bryan's org the Equal Justice Initiative for ways to help.

Gregory Boyle's books:

If I ever in my life thought I was better than a gang member, these books proved me wrong. They changed my whole perspective and humbled me.



Tattoos on the Heart
Barking to the Choir

"Soon we imagine, with God, this circle of compassion. Then we imagine no one standing outside of that circle, moving ourselves closer to the margins so that the margins themselves will be erased. 
We stand there with those whose dignity has been denied. 
We locate ourselves with the poor and the powerless and the voiceless. 
At the edges, we join the easily despised and the readily left out. 
We stand with the demonized so that the demonizing will stop. 
We situate ourselves right next to the disposable so that the day will come when we stop throwing people away." - Fr Greg Boyle

Black Like Me
I read this book when I was about 12. It made a lasting impact. I'm getting ready to read it again.


Here are some resources that are helping me right now:

A 30 day challenge for June, created by Autumn Gupta, of things to to every day (depending on how much time you want to commit) to educate, be an ally and be an advocate. I'm doing it. Want to join me?

White Fragility:
If just the title of the book makes you cringe like it did me, it is probably time to read it! It is sold out on amazon and over 50 people were on the waitlist at our local library, so I bought it for my kindle and my sister and I are discussing it right now.


Podcasts:

Brene Brown and Ibram X Kendi

I love this podcast anyways and listened to this most recent and it was excellent! Well worth the hour of time.

Plaid Skirts and Basic Black

Want to hear some delightful, thoughtful, helpful and spiritual black Catholic voices? Check out this podcast:  https://www.instagram.com/psbbpodcast/

Social Media:

I realized a few years ago that I needed to follow more diverse voices. Here are some to start with. Change your news feed, change your thoughts, change your life. This post has many ideas:



Now, for kids:

Movies:


An American Girl Story- Melody 1963- Love Has to Win
We watched this with our boys a few years ago. It was very good and they didn't even care that it was "American Girl"! We talked about it and unpacked it afterwards.


Hidden Figures:
All of our boys have seen it and it opened up SO many conversations. It is an excellent film!

Books:

Coretta Scott King Book Award Winners

Books on Race, Racism and Activism
We've read many of these titles, and I have started searching out more of them.

Sister Anne's Hands
We own this book, and it is a treasure. Summary:
It’s the early 1960s, and Anna has never seen a person with dark skin before. At first she is afraid of her new second-grade teacher. But Anna quickly finds that there’s no reason to be scared. Sister Anne is wonderful. She likes jokes and she makes math and reading fun. But then someone sails a paper airplane to her, with a cruel message written on its wings. Sister Anne’s wise way of turning a painful incident into a powerful learning experience has a profound impact on Anna and her classmates.



YouTube:

We watch this excellent video about Martin Luther King, Jr on King day every year:

Recent:
Nightly News Kids Edition on the protests and race in America:

Other:

The amazing Power of Children exhibit on Ruby Bridges. We were very moved.


What other resources am I missing? Drop them in the comments!
Sending love and light to all of you.
- Jen





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